You’ll Never Know It

You’ll never know it but everything has changed. You will forever be in the hearts of your fellow New Zealanders. Moreover, a movement has started because of all of you, a phenomenal movement based on HEART that has the potential to ripple far beyond our shores emanating what matters, what must be done. Here in our small country lying deep in the Pacific Ocean, we have a chance to lead the way to change the world, because of you.

An announcement by Prime Minister Jacinta Ardern that gun laws will change, was an almost immediate response. A topic deemed for controversy, yet a powerful call to action followed. Without waiting for legislative change, our society has taken it upon themselves to act. Leading the way are those that from a monetary lens have the most to lose, retailers including Trademe NZ withdrawing all semi-automatic guns and one of our main gun supplier chains Hunting and Fishing withdrawing all semi-automatic stock.  This message is powerful and unprecedented. There are many avid hunters effected. Empathy for their personal loss regarding money invested, their hobbies and convenience of these weapons as tools is something that we can all display, no one wants to lose any of these aspects in their lives. When you uphold this next to 50 lives lost, our national security and safety for our children, I am so incredible proud to see that New Zealand is rising above self interest, willing to make the sacrifices needed to take a stand. This is a stance that despites the un-comprehendible act of mass shootings crippling nations for many years now, others have failed to take. We are different, we will not allow your lives to be lost in vain.  It is so vital to see the focus and action taken around these weapons as a mere step in New Zealand’s need to step up and take a stance.

Having only had a glimpse of the first-person view of the footage of the attack, this far too horrid to watch, both my husband and I were astounded at how much this replicated the gaming that is such a normal part of our society. We, our society have completely desensitised use of weaponry causing mass destruction, bringing it into our lives, our homes.  My husband games like so many others. We have both made a stance to not be a part of condoning the desensitisation of such acts any longer, condemning this pass time from our lives. Discussion on this leads to recognising that indulging fantasy is more prevalent than ever, through an online world that allows acts and behaviour to grow that would never be the case in reality. Fantasy acts such as online bullying, take lives just like that terrorist. We by far have the highest youth suicide rate in the developed world, over 100 young people dying a year due to suicide. We also have one of the worst records for bullying of our young in the world, a direct co-relationship exists between bullying and youth suicide. The news coverage on youth suicide identifies that the statistics are shocking but not surprising. Not surprising.  How have we come to a place where it is not surprising that we lose 100 of our young every year to this.

We now have an opportunity as a nation to stand up for change. We have the opportunity to not just be horrified at these figures like we are horrified by the loss of life through this terrorist attack, we have the opportunity to stand united and act on our collective responsibility, to say no more.  It is time to make the connection of what is in our control, to recognise that we are loving people with heart that will not accept 100 of our young dying every year. We are witnessing the remarkable presently in our nation, what we are capable of when we come together as a whole. Lets keep on going. Lets let their loved ones know that their loses are significant, that their loved ones lives lost have led to infallible change, for what is right, for a safe and accepting nation free of the hate and cruelty that leads to the death of so many innocent lives.

 

 

 

New Ventures, New Priorities

In my quest to begin the new venture of leaving behind salaried employment to start a company,  it seems I have created the space in my life to reflect and review my priorities. This is actually really hard. To look at oneself and try to get down to what is most important, what is my purpose? The questions keep coming, can I have it all? Is focusing passionately on one thing going to detract from the other? What is the life I should truly be living? In taking the time to transition to this next stage in my career, my ‘dabble’ in the simple things, cooking, baking and even nurturing a garden (those are my actual herbs!!) I wonder what it is that I truly want? At first this was wonderful, the first time at home without much of a schedule that did not involve a new born baby! Finding time for the important things, I found that the 2 mornings I still had my youngest in care (that I should be working on the company set up) were not always (mostly not) used for ‘work’. But here I was doing groceries, cleaning the house, occasionally meeting my bestie for a sneaky lunch. Taking space, enjoying my recently built home, gardening, meal planning and even baking. How did this make me feel? – initially bliss! However next comes guilt, worry, the 'to do' and 'I should' list. The reality is that even if I wanted this life, with our current lifestyle (and I fully acknowledge the choice that we are fortunate enough to have) I need to bring in an income. Yet it is actually so much more than that. My work is such a great part of who I am, my sense of self, sense of achievement and accomplishment is so greatly influenced by this area in my life. It is in fact a large part of my own identity, away from being a mother, wife and homemaker. The Art of Motherhood is my way of reflecting on my priorities, my decisions and learnings in the juggling of motherhood and the other part of me. 

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Hope for Humanity

The steepest paths lead to the sweetest views. This is what caught my eye this morning on the back of the Sanitarium cereal box. It is Sunday on the weekend which has been deemed the darkest time in NZ history, in the aftermath of the horrific terrorist attack in Christchurch on Friday afternoon. By yesterday a mere 24 hours post the attack, the response was absolutely astounding. Particularly here in New Zealand. The love and displays of compassion, unity and fight for who we are as a nation, words cannot describe. The tears that streamed down my face and dull ache deep in my heart along with millions of others, speak louder than anything else. These un-comprehendible acts have resulted in our fast paced, technology driven society coming to a halt. However, NOT in the way intended by the disturbed individuals involved. Instead we pause to reflect on what matters, the basic human values that drive the overwhelm of emotion seeing the rise of infallible unity amongst individuals, groups, politicians and nations who in usual circumstances have different norms, values, beliefs and priorities. We have all come together in one common message, we are one on this, we are all hurting, we are together, we all support one another to get through this. Never have I witnessed a disregard for differences in order to come together and stand for what is right, for our future, for what is the common ground of humanity, like this phenomenon. This is a display of true empathy. This gives us hope. Hope for humanity and that we can turn our society back to what matters most. We are a nation cripple with social issues, including one of the highest rates of child abuse in the world, a child dying from abuse in our country every 5 weeks on average. Up until now call to come together as a community, to stop the blame and tendency to focus on our own interests, our 'own backyard', to promote citizenship that does not accept issues like children being abused and killed, has proven difficult. I now have hope. Hope for a future here in our beautiful country that condemns terrorism, abuse, judgement based on difference. A society that embraces community responsibility to achieve safety, belonging, acceptance and empathy for one another.  

 

How to talk to your kids about terrorism.

 

'Why' The Art of Motherhood

 The idea came to me whilst I was on maternity leave with my youngest child. A lot of my time was spent inside my head and I was using journaling as a way to offload and make sense of this equally rewarding, overwhelming and draining stage of life.  At times I felt isolated. Through my writing I was able to make sense of my experiences and sometimes created a bit of much needed humor out of the day to day challenges of newborn, pre-schooler and teenager, not to mention all my expectations around being the mother and wife I want to be. In my return to work I continued to gravitate towards high demanding roles and then set out on my own business venture which grew to take on 6 other partners. The constant juggle of motherhood and career demands had me realise that rather than juggle I need to look at life in its entirety. I am me. My Art of Motherhood reflects that journey. There are no rules here, no role I need to live up to. This blog aspires to allow me to be me, to embrace my raw thoughts, insights and vulnerabilities.   

Putting myself out there for others to have an opinion of me, my thoughts, my actions, my life, may well be one of my greatest fears. It is only recently in doing some work on myself and this constant need to be perfect and ‘succeeding’ that I finally realised the truth. The connection point for us all, comes from not accomplishments but the raw truthful reality. In my bid to be honest with myself I recognise that it is time to now make something of My Art of Motherhood. To share this crazy, hard beautiful journey of work, life and motherhood. So here I am. 

 

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